Ten Dirty Jokes to tell at friend’ s parties Ski Lodge: Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’ t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job! Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’ s funny, I dreamed I was skiing! He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says “But sir, its just a sperm replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it! So the nurse sucks it back. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey – its not that hard.

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Funny joke on married couple A married couple come to the marriage counselor. I love you too. A girl tells her boyfriend: Funny relationship jokes – Pregnancy A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant. My name, living address, phone number Funny relationship jokes – Bruising A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body.

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Loads of Funny and Crude Jokes Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn’t? What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won’t call you a week later. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?

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The best dirty jokes A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this Looking for man with these qualifications: She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.

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So my girl queafed. Made a little fart from her vagina during sex. She got sooooo embarrassed about it. I want it to be a paradise for you.

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The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. The lawyer asks the first question. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer? And you thought blondes were dumb. What’s the problem officer? You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

One more step

The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. Allan shouted across the garage, ‘Hey Doc can I ask you a question? Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, ‘So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?

When he was called in to see the doctor, Adam slowly got up, and, grasping his cane and hunching over, slowly made his way into the examining room.

Funny sex jokes – Condom – Dad, what happens if a condom tear? – Look at yourself Funny adult jokes – Unexpected Unexpected sex – is the best thing to wake up, unless you’re in prison.

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Golf and Public Restroom Similarities Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. Form a loose grip. Keep your head down. Avoid a quick backswing. Stay out of the water.

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When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks! What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist! What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? Whats long and hard and has cum in it?

How do you kill a circus clown?

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Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site! If you rate joke, joke rating and position will change.. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.

Loads of Funny and Crude Jokes. Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get. Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn’t?

Do U like Sex? How many times do U have it in a week? A condom told a PAD fuck u. U always stop my business for a week, the PAD replied yeah! Becos when u fuck up ,I loose my job for 9 months.. How do you breathe through that thing? Banana and a Penis An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day.

40 FUNNIEST TEXT MESSAGE FAILS